Episode 13: "BOSS HOGG ESPECIAL" *FULL EPISODE ON PATREON*

Yo. Yeah, I like that walk-on. Yo. That was serving cunt. Yeah. I was choreographed once in a minute. I'm serving cunt. I'm serving cunt. You're serving gay. I mean, you're always serving cunt. I wouldn't worry about that. Dude, do you remember when you were in Amsterdam and you just arrived to that place you were staying at? I made some joke along the lines of charred asshole summer, or like charred prostate summer, and you were just so visibly disgusted. I mean, to be honest, you want to talk about charred asshole summer, it's been me permanently for the last two months. I'm scorched earth down there. Nah, I'm good now. I'm just drinking too much coffee here. you know i think it's kind of like the combination of the spicy food and just drinking and like the amount of coffee i drink is just kind of sending me in a tizzy uh but no no i'm i'm like two weeks ago it was like hell on earth now i'm fine by comparison stronger than ever let us be the judge man turn around yeah yeah with that thing yeah yeah i get it you ready Oh my god, for the listeners, for the listeners, Rob's full, full prostate is on display right now. It's crazy. Call the cops, call the cops. Got mad motherfucking marijuana crops. Got lime trees and lemon trees. Got 20, 30 bitches down on the knees. Water, water. No big screens, no HBO, tomato, tomato, potato, potato These hoes just won the fat boy lotto Please let me use your grotto, hefty bitches is my motto If you get on top, hooker, I think you might break my throttle I'll knock your head off, you softer than a bitch's skin You stupid bitches cannot win, fuck your wifey in the face And then I'll take your next akin, range at ten I'll stick a dildo in your fucking fish food, which dudes?

Mama sucks my dick when she's high on mollies. M-Mollies. Insane, too. Yeah, absolutely. I'm excited to get cucked. That's annoyingly strong. It kind of is pointlessly strong, yeah. But it's also quite cool. Certainly right now his dick doesn't work. Am I the only one whose dick works? Honestly, that's what I woke up to. I was like, you know. Dude, my dick been working. Well, for the listeners, holy shit, Rob just pulled out his extremely erect member. He's like Drake's eyes. You still haven't watched that. I tried to watch it. I tried to watch it. The size of all of Drake's. The size of Drake's body. Same body count, same penis size. It's pretty... I know you think that it's big. You know, you've been informed that it's big, but it's, like, bigger than you think it is. It's genuinely, like, disturbing. And, like, deeply upsetting. It's like a joke, Dick. Yeah, seriously. It's like a slapstick prop. Oh, wait. Well, what I wanted to... She writes something in the notes. So, okay. Well, I've been listening to some rival podcasts. And just do some competitive research, I guess. I'm also really, really sick and not functioning. You look like shit, man. I've been told that this is going to be clipped. Yeah, and this will be my legacy. Anyway, whatever. So I've been doing some competitive research, rival podcasts and such. And what I'm seeing is that they tend to take kind of a structured, researched approach, where they'll segment. their their podcast and sort of collect their thoughts in advance like prior to the recording of the podcast and during the recording of the podcast they'll use mics and they'll like enunciate and they'll have they'll have like pre-prepared topics stuff like that so it's been really eye-opening but my main takeaway is that they'll have like a sort of like a dedicated five minute small talk banter corner um as the opener

which I think serves to kind of humanize the hosts, to show their personalities. So I was thinking we could try some tepid banter. Like they usually just like talk about going to the pub and having a few pints and maybe waking up a bit hungover as a result. So yeah, do you guys want to try that? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Works for me. Works for me. I'm familiar with those types of conversations. Okay. Okay, well, this should come naturally then. So I went to the pub on Sunday, the Clapton Heart in Clapton. This was after a night out as well, so you can imagine. And I had maybe three or four Guinnesses and just hung out with some friends and also some sort of music adjacent people that I sort of peripherally knew but hadn't properly met. Like I said, I had a couple of drinks during the course of... course of the evening. Um, and as a result of the drinking, I woke up on Monday for work and I was a bit hungover. Okay. Yeah. And, uh, that's crazy. So do either of you have some small talk you want to say? Does anyone, does anyone watch a movie, uh, with a plot they want to recount or they want to describe like the TV show, the curse featuring, uh, singular safety bro and Nathan Fielder. Once again, a both sides wide-eyed look of modernity. I think when I actually watched it, it is fucking, it's really, really good. It's like, it kind of like... I would say three episodes. Really? I loved it. It made me feel a lot better. I would say that I think Emma Stone is great in general, but... For some reason, I need to be, like, won over by her in everything she does. Well, that's because you hate the Irish. Yeah. Have you guys got Irish blood? David's got fucking tons, right? You're Irish brahmin. Yeah. They call her spice back for a reason. This sort of spiraled in a way that I hadn't anticipated, but therein lies the magic of sort of organic conversation.

and dedicated banter corner. Anything can happen. You set certain parameters, but the way our minds work is unpredictable. And as such, the conclusions, the path that conversation takes. Funny and real. Anyone's guess. Anyone's guess. All right. With that being said, I think we can hereby conclude the sort of opening banter corner, unless anyone has any additional conclusion. I'd be watching movies. All right, so... Is there a movie whose plot you really want to recount, Dom? I watched The Sidemen Story on Netflix. What's that? It's a documentary about the history of the Sidemen. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're killing it. Who are the Sidemen? Is that like KSI? That's it. You genuinely couldn't name this. Is it like Chunks and Philly and these type of people? That's the, well, Chunks is beta squad. Philly's his own beast. But he's the best one to Chunks. Okay, it's KSI, Mini Minter. Mini Munter? Vicstar123. That's what the ladies call me. Mini Munter. No, it's the Hanson Mini Stool. I got a dick like a horse and a horse like a dick. Some topics are hard to approach. Either the subjects are inaccessible or people are uncomfortable discussing them. If you were alone in a room with conjoined twins, what would you ask? Hello, I'm Cristiano Ronaldo. You can ask me anything. Okay, so now that we've covered that, that was some good... I smell pretty bad too. Can we, I think, so we sent in some, we put in some calls to the general public, to the civilians. soliciting AMA questions. So AMA for those initiated sounds for ask me anything. This is kind of an unprecedented opportunity for some of you guys are listeners to get to know us and the, the many facets that make up our beings. Are we all, do we have our, do we have our questions open, open to us? I'm in front of them, but you know, you, you do the hosting, man. You're doing a wonderful job. I think.

I think you contribute a lot to the podcast as well. And Don, can I say, I also think you contribute a lot to the podcast. Let's go from a small talk corner to sincerity corner. I think Don contributes the most. Don does actual work. My work is mostly masturbatory. Bevo, you know, the guy who doesn't chew when he swallows. Who the fuck is that? You've not seen that? No, is that like a darts? Is that a darts? No, no, he's just like an Instagram guy who eats food. Is it the chef? Nah, nah, nah. He's like a little lout from Essex. But he can't chew because he's got turkey teeth. What turkey teeth? You know. Like dentures. Like chiclet teeth. Like little nubs. Yeah, like chicken teeth. I learned so much on this podcast. Should we take it away again? Teeth which have a naturally large, ultra-white, very uniform, and often rectangular shape. Wait, we're going to go with this? We're going to keep this in? Oh, hell yeah. No, fuck no. Alright, I'm going to leave this on the edit. There's definitely a big chunk of that that we have to cut. Alright. Alright. All right. You do your thing, man. Crack on. All right. So, uh, haha, as we were saying, it is the majestic casual explore page full of erotic beef case. Ask someone it's beyond me. These, these guys are freaks. Um, so the context for context, I followed baby Morocco some time ago and liked maybe like two of his posts. which permanently altered my Instagram algorithm and kind of turned into like this buffet of beefcakes. Uh, I had to engage malnourished wimp content. You just liked your own photos then? Uh, we're going to move on. Missing with that shit. I will not be slandered. Um, baby Rocco is on the, on the same level. Yeah. Right.

yeah true panther what baby rock is on true panther why do you say that i'm fucking music podcast i guess hell yeah and tobias jesse jr you know that i remember that guy yeah he had his little like indie darling like pitchfork die like dying the lot the yeah like he was he was big around like the decline of pitchfork Yeah, exactly. And then he, apparently he used to date Taylor Swift before he got famous. Well, I'll be a son of my bitch. It's crazy. The lore goes deep. See, we're music lovers. It's, it's incredible how much trivia we could just pull out. Uh, all right. So I was asking about Viper. Everyone wanna look at me, everyone Everyone wanna look at me, everyone wanna talk like me And get looked at, do the lyrics and sex, let me take attention See, cause I'm not getting looked at Everyone takes drugs all day until we do come or even came But whatever your choice submits, the attention's there, you're in your hands Everyone wanna look at me, everyone wanna talk like me And get looked at, do the lyrics and sex, let me take attention I don't know, watch the Neopunk video, I guess. Did they break it down? They did the best take on it, yeah. okay so don't come to just close the podcast yeah if you if you pay for this stop and go to neopunk fm on youtube and they'll break it down in much better terms than we could possibly your cowards don't your cowards don't even abduct and uh your cowards don't even like and subscribe yeah that'll do um here's some good songs art from artist Don't even smoke crack. All right. Henry Alexis, a DJ, asks, who is Jay Paul? First of all, Henry, thank you for reaching out. And thank you also for the stimulating question. I'd say Jay Paul was the great Brown Hope at one point. He could have changed everything. If he hadn't gotten scared because people liked his music, we would have had a...

a whole generation of Desi, A-list pop stars. He would have inspired a whole new wave, but now there's literally no one. As far as like, who's that? Lola, exactly. Oh, and still Bangles, but they're more producers, but nonetheless. I didn't realize they were Desi. I don't know. Okay, well, I feel like we're still kind of scraping the bottom of the barrel here. I think, I feel like... It's literally just, like, all the clothes that we have are just, like, these ethno collectives who, like, put on parties where every DJ wears a sari, but also a North Face puffer. And they play, like, Indian pop, but with a dembo over it. Yeah. And that being, like, the extent of, quote, for South Asians in cool music, I put squarely on J-Paul. Bitching out. What about M.I.A.? She's Sri Lankan and also, like, well, she's, she's Brit, right? She's Brit or American? She's been in America for so long that it's, like, degraded her brain in, like, quite a cool way. Yeah, she's cool. I feel, I feel like she's one of the most, like, insufferable, like, obnoxious people on the planet. I think that's, I think that's more real recognized real on your part. I think, like, you know, she's, she's sick and, like, I don't know, people play her shit so much out nowadays and it sounds so good. Like first, first couple albums are like, honestly untouchable. Like out here, you hear MIA every, I have heard MIA every time I've been out. It's crazy. It's like, yeah, she's sick, honestly. Like, and like, have you seen, have you seen this, this, it's pretty topical at the moment. She's like been going on these like TikTok tirades against like Jay-Z and Rockefeller. Cause she was married to the head of Rockefeller and was signed to them for a long time. And she's basically suggesting that they like shelved her career and all this, all this kind of stuff.

You know, adding to the J-Luminati allegations. I feel like it's not... Oh, wow. I know. I think it's not... Oh, that's what you meant. Never mind. When you said J-Luminati, I took that. Yeah, I get you. J-Paul's part of the Illuminati. I mean, you were talking about the head of a record label, and it just, I don't know, kind of clicked in the wrong way. Jay Paul Illuminati, I understand. Jay Paul is part of the Illuminati. I don't think as far as MII being shelved is a matter of some concerted attempt to silence a radical, provocative... brown lady as much as is her just being like an unsustainable kind of lunatic in like the most like annoying incoherent way she loves like taking on the trappings of like subversion and like you know radical activism but there's just no content whatsoever she's completely fucking incoherent i feel like you pay a lot of attention i i there was a i would i tried to get her i really i really wanted it to work for me but just just never landed um do you guys follow their music Yeah. Like Rob said, the early stuff is great. I don't know. I listened to her most recent album when it came out and I liked it, but like, you know, kind of paid it no more mind than I would, you know, fucking content cycles, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. I think her shit's generally pretty good. Especially, especially like first two albums and her and Diplo did that Piracy Funds Terrorism mixtape, which is like still completely untouchable. Like it's actually crazy how good it is. I guess I haven't gone that deep on the music, but even that title alone is such a like, she just like scraped some cool sounding phrase after like half reading some some you know subversive text and just like plastered it over like a mixtape and that that was like that was yeah i guess it's also like 20 years old now so i feel like it's a different time in which we might not we you know as we weren't there you probably don't have all the context to grasp how that title would have landed at the time if that makes sense like it's like a title like that now sounds like very try hard but i guess we don't really have the context for

how a title like that for a mixtape would have landed at the time. No, I'm pretty sure I nailed it. Pretty sure I nailed it. They still take that kind of corny allusion to something bigger over when these pop stars, or not even pop stars, people in between who are relatively big but think they're experimental just combine three random words in Helvetica font. Yeah, me and Rob, Rob knows what I'm talking about. I'm so intrigued. It's in the notes to talk about. Anyway, we'll get to it. We'll get to it. Next question. Next question. Next question. Milevchik, aka the boy Fall River Music Projects of Deleted. Shout out. He asks, as British identifying music fans, what do you reckon the best Radiohead album is? Kid A. Oh, Rob, Rob, that's what I thought. But I spent all afternoon listening to Radiohead. And Kid A is boring. Kid A is awful. No, it's just boring. Like, it's got, obviously, it's got some baggage still. Tell you what's good. Amnesiac, the one afterwards. That has this really cool, like, jazz tune on it. Yeah, Amnesiac is good. Yeah, I got into that last year. I feel like... i kind of i don't know tom york's kind of whole like ballard like um you know crash crash dummies and like dystopia just doesn't really don't really gel with the sound i feel like when johnny greenwood goes full like um like the inherent vice score i feel like it does sounds kind of more like occultish in a much more appropriate way I just don't think Britain as a context for that really has the same kind of... The occult, you mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. California's a much better place for that, right? Sure. I mean, we're just not as nuts, right? You can't have the occult thing in the same way because of the stiff upper lip.

but i also i also like the king of limbs which i didn't really think oh god i've missed that album since it came out i don't think i also respect it's also there yeah that's cool it was like a black one remix pearson sound remix so yeah remember that like vividly yeah the business yeah i remember sort of coming my pants when i read that like pearson sound doesn't listen to the original song until after he's finished the remake that was like was that like the era that um like tom york went on boiler room and he had this kind of like like when I like Radiohead in that way. Like, I think he put on a lot of people to excel. I think, you know, kind of unofficially, again, not super knowledgeable here, but I think a lot of people got their break via XL because he was just, like, interested in their tunes and back to... Yeah, for real. I mean, shout out to Tom York. There's going to be, like, these things are always, like, sick. I feel like Radiohead is not, like, trendy. It's not, like... Yeah. But like they're, they are untouchable as far as I'm concerned. Well, they're not untouchable. Everything up to in rainbows is good. Untouchable is maybe not. I think I meant more, more like, more like stable. That's what I mean. Six solid. Like there's songs I like on all six of their first, of their first albums, their first six albums. That's so hard to do. You got it. You got to choose an album though, David. I think, so I was thinking about this. It's like, I think it might be in rainbows. Uh, that's like the one I have the most personal connection to. That one like came out at a formative time. Like I have, like, I think I literally, the first, my first ever, the first time a lady touched my genitals, I listened to, um, was it 15? Your mom was wiping your ass. No, no, no, no. It was weird fishes. And my mom wasn't involved. You were getting a handy and like seven, eight rhythm. No, after afterwards I was like, that's no none of that none that's not how it went down it's not you're not you're not you're not tainting this memory i also like okay computer a lot um it's like that's like a like a boring answer but it has tons of songs as well if you want to like something with a bit more kind of like arty cock rock it's like it's good for that i don't really like revisit like in rainbows i'll come back to okay computer some songs i'll come back to um but i feel like off uh kid a it's only really like

everything is right place i come back to there's like individual songs but yeah it's it's it's it's in rainbows okay okay computer as far as i'm concerned so there's the british identifying music fan um definitive answer for middle of check So if I met him one time in LA. He's a cool guy. Nice. Mutate asks, when TF do we get paid? Do you want to owe Mutate money? Do we owe Mutate money? Is he talking about the industry at large? I feel like a lot of bread is over. Mutate, try some drums. Maybe then you'll get paid. I don't cosign that. I don't cosign that response when you say it. But I will say, speak for yourself, boy. Because I earn literally thousands of pounds per month in exchange for labour enacted. It's not that hard. Have you got a new job yet? What? Have you got a new job yet? No. uh what do you think what do you think tom when when when to after we get paid bro i i need to get paid like when we go to new york it's gonna be bad i'm like racking up debt like even before we've gone i did this i did nothing i'm just living all right that's good you need to you need to you need to get like you need to attain like terminal velocity and to like the event horizon of debt such that you start to bend your own personal financial space time and it doesn't mean anything to you anymore whatsoever. You'll have a good ass time. I've got beef with money because I did that music video the other week, which is why the platform edits are late. Because I just keep getting, you know, these kind of freelance job offers that seem kind of easy. And then because they come from industry people.

They just don't pay very well. Do they ask you for too many rounds of amends? Just all the bullshit that comes with it. Yeah, and I had to go to Soho House to do an edit meeting with people. Do you set out how many amends you'll do for the price that you're being offered? This is my bad because it was a friend of a friend who asked me to do this project and I assumed it would be smaller than it was. But just in general. I don't know. I always do that with mixing jobs because otherwise, like, people just take the piss. They, like, insist that you do it to their exact specifications and make it sound good. No, it's more like you do it to their specifications and they change their mind. And you say, well, if you just set out how many rounds of amends you're willing to do, then you're fine. Agreed. So, mutate. That's when we get paid. Adam Lawrence asks, oh, states, I want my money back from Eventfest. If I wanted to hear, all caps, COLD PLAY, I'd go outside. So a bit of a snide undertone there. Not sure I appreciate it. It seems a little bit personal. I don't remember there being... Do you remember any... I don't remember anything, dude. I fell asleep in the corner. Oh, you fell asleep? It's so bad now because I was tired. I like the immediate caress. I had a great time. The immediate walk back. Rob had a great time where it travels. I can't lie the Piedry boys seemed kind of jaded. I was like debilitatingly frigged. And for the rest, it was just, for us, it was just, I hate doing promotion promoter shit. It's like point blanks. You just don't like DJ or like player engage with the night in the same way. So true. And like Sean and Tim are just like going through the motions.

But for the rest, I mean, they had a freaking blast. So, Adam Lawrence, you want your money back from Eventfest? I want my money back for Eventfest as well. I'm still out of pocket on that bitch. The George Tavern, the venue we did that shit at, has yet to pay me. Because they did all the ticketing and shit. Oh, yeah, I've just agreed to do that with them as well. Damn, so they're slow with that? Dude, it's absurd, man. You've just got to keep on chasing them. But they are nice and cheap. Shouts out the George Tavern. Yeah, they are cheap. Partial shout out. But the amount of sort of like cucked, like semi-polite exclamation point, hope to hear back soon. Emails I've had to like lower myself to as genuinely like eating away at my self-esteem. And I don't know how much it can take. This is a regular day in the life for Rob Benning. I have no issue with this. I think like part and parcel of my life. Oh, never heard, never heard back from Pitchfork. Looks like I'm going to have to pay 40 pounds to go and see Godspeed. When the fuck did we get there? Yeah, there you go. There's your answer. On the George tab, though, just a quick plug. April 3rd, bad sip, pretty view, but grotesque, live. Goddamn. Things are starting to come up that make me wish I was back in London. You'll be back soon, man. But, like, yeah, something like that. That's such a sick show, dude. Sick of a show. I'm trying to see this pretty view character in the flesh. You haven't met him? No, never. So nice. Dude, I look forward to assessing that myself soon enough. Is the V for Virgin? No, it's for Voldy, which is his government name. His government name is Voldy, which is very cool. I thought it was cool. Yeah, I thought it was like a... Pretty V. Hey, keep playing music. I like to listen to it. Yostala sends in, in lieu of a question... two images, one showing a mouse Pepe variant, and the other an image of a cartoon dog, and the dog is on a t-shirt, and the t-shirt is captioned, hi bro. So this is sort of like an absurdist, extremely online, dare I say, non sequitur, and one that I don't necessarily feel obliged to respond to. Thoughts? Yeah, respect.

I haven't seen the images, so I don't really understand what's going on, but fine. It's pretty good. Pagan Bard, the boy Chris, asks, what's the next big thing in music? Yeah, Deconstructed Club from Estonia is the next big thing in music. There we go. I don't know what the Estonian... There we go. Yeah, that was pretty. That sounds like Chris. That sounds like Chris. Do you attempt to do any accent for more than three seconds and it just winds up sounding like Borat? That's inevitable. What's the next big thing in music, Dom? What do you say? Is there really a big thing? The hood trap shit, jerk shit, that's probably going to have a little moment over the next six months. In rap. In rap, but I mean just in like... There's not like one big thing going on. No, don't say that. Don't do that. That's neither a positive nor negative. That's just a... I think that makes sense. Well, to quote you... But I get a chance. Disaffected vocal delivery is so clapped. IDCR, rather listen to Lana Del Rey or the 1975 at this point. Facts. That was in reference to MLB or Astrid Sonner. It's not in reference to those artists because I think these artists are good, but I feel like there's a lot. It's basically the rant I went on to you on when we played in Amsterdam. The world music thing, so to speak. I feel like has just spread across electronic music. And a lot of people who were kind of maybe more in an electronic space start to, this myself included, start to do things that are more singer-songwriter-esque. And it really, I think a lot of it ends up with this very like disaffected, dubbed out sound that sounds like pretty similar to like Hype Williams or something like that, or like Tears Up.

and i feel like there's a lot of that and it just gets a bit boring like that isn't to say that these artists aren't good but i think you you can see the saturation happening so quickly i don't really i haven't really like i don't really have that macro level industry worldview that you do i'm i'm way too i'm way too locked into my own little there is there is like there's some incredible songs on the emma book album The Emma Buck album is good. There's some really good songs on the Astrid Sun album, but there is one song where it just sounds like literally it could be a Tears of Song. If you played that to me, I wouldn't be able to tell you who it was. That for me, that's a bit concerning. It sounds like you have face blindness, but for a female vocalist. I have a very specific strain of musical autism. It's nice to get diagnosed with something. I'm a donkey dick. Clout is killing our people Clout is killing our people Clout is killing our people Clout is killing our people They move like the groupies, them Sending shots are snapped But in real life don't use their strength Hold it, hold it up Hold it, hold it up Hold it, hold it up Hold it, hold it up Hold it up